ADDICT

I’m an addict
I’ve got boxes
Stored in the attic
You see I’m addicted
To a past of static
I don’t even really remember
It’s really all just a fragment
But every now and then
I’ll get the urge to go through it
I know it’s wrong of me
But sometimes I just want to feel
Just how good
I thought I had it
They say to let it go
But I’m sorry
I’m not Elsa
And this isn’t frozen
I’m an addict
And sometimes I need a fix
I just got to have it
I get lost in the memories
Of a time long ago
My head and my heart
Start to make up stories
In my soul I know it was different
But i can’t face the truth
So i remember false glories
I relive moments how I want to remember
And when I’m done
I feel sick to my gut
Because I know I have it good
I’m just stuck in a rut
But just like a junkie
When I’m feeling sober
I got to have a fix
Cause I’m an addict
I want to change
But I keep the boxes in the attic
Because for some reason
I don’t know
Maybe if I figured it out
I could drop the metaphorical
Needle
That can somehow resemble
A past I never had
I could erase the memories
Or better yet the stories
Created by my heart and brain
To somehow ease the pain
Because somehow, I think
I’m not good enough
But that’s a lie
And I know it
I have a beautiful life
Maybe one day
In a moment of clarity
I’ll burn the boxes
Better yet just maybe
Ill drench the whole house
In gasoline
I’ll light a match
And watch it all burn
Every memory
And skeletons in closets
The monsters under the bed
I’ll stand there and watch
As it all burns to the ground
An aroma of burning gasoline
Maybe then
I won’t be an addict
And I can finally be clean
Because I’m tired of the boxes
I keep in the attic
 
 

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